So, I rocked up to the first one-on-one meeting yesterday feeling quite nervous.  I had been on the scales at home.  I was going to tell them (the WW consultant) that I didn’t want to know what I weighed in case I had gained a significant amount in the past week (you never know!) AND of course you have to wear shoes for health-related reasons….  But I kinda knew what to expect because I had weighed at home so when I obsess in one-week’s time and get on the scales (constantly) in the lead up to the first weigh-in I will know what to expect.

Anyway, the woman I saw was nice enough.  I jumped in early and highlighted my disdain for the usual WW banter.  She was pretty good, though did rabbit on a bit about ‘why’ I was doing it.  Of course I said I was doing it to lose weight.  Then I got a bit more honest and said it was to fit into decent clothes; not despise myself quite so much; have a man vaguely interested in me; and possibly have sex sometime in the next decade.  But – bzzzz – wrong answer apparently.  I am apparently doing this for ‘me’.  Whatever!

So, according to the WW scales (clothed and with sandshoes) I was 132.5kgs.

Because I had done this all before the consultant was fairly speedy in going through the program.  Even though I haven’t participated in WW for about 7 years, it seems they are still counting points – though they have changed – requiring me to procure a whole heap of new resources. 

Given my age, weight and level of exercise (barely anything at the moment) I can eat up to 25 points a day.  Definitely no less than 18 points and if I save any I can bank them for a splurge later in the week.

All in all, the appointment went smoothly and my gag reflex didn’t kick in at all.  And, in an attempt to ensure I stick at it, I bought 13 weeks worth of passes.  Just in case.

Of course I had already bought corn chips to binge on before starting today.  I was tempted to go all-out and get some chocolate etc, but decided to refrain.  Corn chips it was. (Oh, and wine. And champagne, though only a bit of each cos it was a school night!).  As I contemplated this I was conscious of having done it before.  The diet-mentality…. Binging on as much as possible because I was starting my diet the next day and then wouldn’t be able to eat these yummy things. 

Of course the WW rhetoric suggests that you can eat whatever you want, as long as you build it into your points total.  They obviously don’t know that I can eat 4 family-sized blocks of chocolate in a binge.  Or two bags of corn chips….

Corn chips consumed, Day 1 dawned and I had worked out that I could pretty much eat what I usually eat during the day.  Daytime at work is never my problem.  I am coeliac which can be a problem in terms of accessing easy takeaways, so I take my lunch every day. 

I breakfasted – as usual – on toast, with a slice of almost-fat-free bacon and an egg.  Yay!  I calculated that to be about 5 WW points.  I then survived until lunch when I had leftover mince (from Spaghetti Bolognese, though I had eaten all of the pasta previously) for about 6 points. 

Of course I was supposed to do some exercise on my arrival home after work, but laziness set in.  Also it was dark and miserable, so I consoled myself with some champagne (diluted with soda water) in the bathtub – reading a WW magazine – instead.  So, not all bad?!  And, the consultant I saw yesterday said not to worry about exercise for about 3 weeks….which (knowing me) is all of the permission I need!

I am currently cooking dinner and decided on a recipe from the Week 1 book – a chicken and noodle soup.  I figure it is low calorie (4 points max!) and allows me to fit in a few wines.  I know that is the wrong thing to do, but will probably need to wean myself off of my evening wines.  I recall doing WW previously and getting to a point when I decided I preferred the extra rice rather than the wine.  But, as it is only day 1 (and I am trying to assuage the not-exercising guilt) I will give myself a break. 

I will aim to post every day (or as close to that as possible).  Hopefully the posts won’t always be this long (it is almost time to watch ‘The Mentalist’; and I vowed to try to eat before 8.30pm!).

I hope writing my thoughts down will keep me conscious of what I am doing.  The biggest challenge will be the fact that I have a significant amount of weight to lose.  I have been there before.  I recall how exciting it is to lose weight and feel great – only to then remember you have 20 more kilograms to go.  Coming home on the bus this evening I was sitting there, with this thing-that-is-not-a-diet playing on my mind and before I could stop the thought I wondered if anyone noticed my weight loss.  I had to remind myself that I was only just starting.  I have to be conscious that my mind and my fantasies get ahead of me and in my mind I have already lost kilos and kilos. 

But….. it is just Day one, and there are many more to come.