I recently left a comment for another blogger and my own response got me thinking. The post in question was about the fact that the writer’s healthy eating habits had gone awry for a few months. They were … taking a breath and regrouping to move forward, and in doing so were attempting to learn from the past few months. She asked we readers what we would tell ourselves in the same situation.
“Move on,” I said. I told her that I believed there were actual theories that supported my sage advice.
I suspect I’ve mentioned that I was never much of a student. In fact, I think I was doing my Masters before I finally realised that one didn’t have to ‘learn’ everything verbatim, but rather ‘understand’ concepts. At school I was better in English, Maths and the like – stuff I didn’t need to ‘study’ for. Stuff I didn’t need to learn. If I understood how to do something (be it equations, algebra etc) then I could do it until the cows came home.
A subject I enjoyed as an undergraduate psychology student was about rational decision-making. It involved minimal theory (so my cup of tea) and was basically about weighting factors which would assist one in weighing alternatives and making a decision (and so forth).
One thing that’s stayed with me – and in fact is not rocket science (though did feature in rational decision-making logic) – was the notion of ‘sunk costs’. Basically we learned that it is NOT rational to consider past actions / behaviour when making future decisions. For example… do you spend money fixing a dud car, just because you’ve already channelled heaps of money into it? No. You look at what it’s going to cost you in future and make decisions SOLELY based on that fact.
It is IRRATIONAL, we learnt, to focus on past decisions or actions. They’re done and dusted and cannot be changed.
I’m sure the theory was a tad more complex and we were meant to learn from past behaviour / results and use them to predict the future, but… you get my drift.
It occurs to me that I harp on about the past. All. Of. The. Time. I need to take a leaf out of my own book and heed the advice I’m giving others!
I’ve written before about my years of anorexia and bulimia. Frankly they’re a lifetime ago. I’ve now been overweight for longer than I was of a normal weight or underweight. I need to stop clinging onto past behaviours: whether they be what I perceive as missed opportunities or thwarted potential; an inability to maintain lost weight; or failure to lose weight.
Instead, I need to focus on looking forward. I mean, I suspect it’s impossible NOT to learn from the past. I lived it, it’s part of who I am… I kinda know where I went right and where I went wrong. So now I suspect I need to focus more on my future and how I want to live the rest of my life!
There endeth the lesson!
June 6, 2012
I learned about sunk costs in accounting class in college and think of them often in life. With the weight thing, it is so easy for me to get caught in the “if I’d started last week instead of eating all that food…”
June 6, 2012
So true Karen… The ‘if onlys’ are somewhat dangerous!
June 6, 2012
Speaking of taking one’s own advice, I recently left a comment on someone else’s blog that said this: “I have stopped looking at this journey as being about steps forward or steps backward…they’re ALL forward. We CAN’T go back. It may feel like we’ve regressed, but each and every time we revisit old patterns or behaviors, we’re doing so with new eyes…it’s ALL forward, baby!”
That said, I believe a healthy understanding of the past can help us keep moving forward 🙂
June 6, 2012
Agreed… I can’t recall anything from the course about ‘learning from the past’ but suspect there was something there! I guess each thing we do though does move us forward – even if it’s not in the direction we’d like!!!
June 6, 2012
I love love love this 🙂 Great lesson x
June 6, 2012
Thanks Rebecca. I just need to remember it now!
Deb
June 7, 2012
I LOVE this post. Period! 🙂
June 7, 2012
Thanks Satu! There’s a lesson there. I always say ‘move on’ / ‘don’t focus on the past’ and yet I’m not always successful in doing that!
Deb
June 7, 2012
One of my favourite quotes is (I’m paraphrasing here, don’t have it handy):
You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
It can be a good thing to reflect on the past and learn from it, but when we get stuck repeating the same old patterns, we need to figure out what’s keeping from moving on. It isn’t always easy…
June 7, 2012
I actually almost used the ‘re-reading’ quote in one of the photos. It’s so true.
Deb
June 7, 2012
oh goodness I love that quote.
I was raised by an amazing woman who let EVERY SINGLE YESTERDAY overtake her todays.
she still does and, to me, it’s heartbreaking.
June 7, 2012
It’s hard to change habits like that isn’t it….? But, you’ve broken out of that cycle and Tornado will have you as a role model!
Deb
June 8, 2012
Hi Deb! This is a very interesting post. “Sunk costs” is not a term I had heard before. I’ll have to think about that for a while. Although I try not to, I think too much about my past. I’m made some effective personal rules to lesson it, which as helped quite a bit. But still too much.
🙂 Marion
June 8, 2012
Yes Marion, I can relate. As I said, I think there’s benefit in learning from our past, but moving on…
June 8, 2012
Great post. Thanks for the advice. Will try. xo
June 8, 2012
Yes… Me too!
June 10, 2012
I loved that quote, it is applicable to so many things in life. I’m going to take it with me into next week…
June 11, 2012
Yes Lou Lou – in the subject it was about making monetary / investment decisions… but it’s far more widely applicable!
June 10, 2012
Love the image quote! This hits so close to home for me. I often spend time outside the present, which sometimes works counter to my efforts.
June 11, 2012
So true Sacha… it’s a big problem for me as well. (Obviously!)