In two weeks time I will be a lady of leisure which actually sounds far more frivolous than the reality; or the phrase, “I’ll be unemployed.”
Cos I’m not really thinking I will be. Unemployed that is. Well, I will be, but it will be by choice. Mostly.
I’ve just unveiled my post-work plans in my other blog which I was nervous about doing. I hate setting myself up to fail. I hate ‘touting’ that I will ‘do’ something if it may not actually happen. But I caught up with some former work colleagues (from the Department from which I’m being made redundant, not my current workplace) this past week. We were an hour or so into chatting when someone asked me if I’d been looking for a job.
“God no!” I said, “I’m having a break.”
It was at that point I realised that while I’ve spent the past month or two obsessing mulling over plans, I haven’t actually shared them widely. And when I have divulged my diabolical plan, I’d added the disclaimer I included above about this all just being my ‘fantasy’ or ‘dream’. I also worry I’m being a bit self-indulgent or frivolous. I mean, who am I to think I don’t need to continue working a 9 to 5 job?! Do I think I deserve better, or am worthy of more?
Umm…. kinda, actually.
I mean, there has to be an upside to not having a family and being alone, responsible only for myself. In reality, I must also admit I’m quite happy to have a plan at all, as I’ve been slightly nervous that this whole thing has just been about me wanting a break from work – with little consideration of the longer term consequences.
As I said in the Debbish post, I realise that I have to set my plan in motion. Only I can do that.
One of the things I want to focus on (in my brave new world) is my health. I haven’t felt particularly healthy lately. I’ve been worried I’ve left it too late to become fit and healthy (and the person I want to be). Even worse, I’m worried that my unhealthy eating behaviour and slothful lifestyle is so ingrained that it will be almost impossible to change.
But I want to try.
I talk a lot in this blog about using food for comfort. It soothes me. It calms me. It satiates me. Leo Babauta in his Zen Habits blog writes (often) about seeking happiness in external things (food in my case). Happiness, he says, comes from uncovering what you already have.
I’m doing an online Sea Change course via Leo’s site and he talks about the temporary nature of externally-attained happiness. He uses chocolate as an example. (Cos I’m sure we can all relate to the temporary ecstasy fulfilment it offers.) We need to be happy by ourselves he suggests: self-happy.
Part of me is a tad nervous that the break I take away from the workforce will allow me far too much time to access food (not to mention mulling over life in general). At the moment work remains a safe-haven from binge-eating or over-eating. It’s being ‘home’ and alone that’s the problem.
On the flip side however, I’m hoping that by being more fulfilled in general – pursuing my passions and living more authentically – I’ll have less cause for binge eating.
I’m not sure it’ll work that way, but I’m excited to try and the notion of doing what I love is incredibly liberating.
Do you think being more satisfied with life in general can impact eating habits?
September 10, 2012
I found that. I put on 3 kgs in the first few months- mainly because work was routine and home was weekend or holiday…and everyone knows that calories consumed on a weekend or holiday don’t end up on your tummy/thighs/butt/wherever.
It was only when I started seeing my offices as, well, my office and my day as a work routine that things started to settle- & by settle, that means I’m not putting any more weight on, but rather attempting to take it off.
September 10, 2012
Jo, I’ve been thinking a bit about a strategy during the uncertainty of the first few weeks and months. Given the time of year and commitments I have during that time (blogging conference in early October, anniversary of my father’s passing in late October, lead-up to Christmas) I suspect I won’t settle properly until January. Not to mention my place will be on the market and there’ll be uncertainty around that until I can sell!
I’m prone to want to loll in bed in the mornings so think I’ll need to set up a strict routine early on to prevent rising late morning and watching Ellen and daytime movies etc. I’ve already sussed out some gyms etc up there and will try to join one and plan daily classes etc.
Deb
September 10, 2012
Deb, there’s no such thing as “too old” to improve your health, your fitness or to be a healthy weight. That is just a barrier you’ve put up in your mind (and that’s not to sound critical because I did the same thing for several years after babies ..the old, “I’ve had a baby, I can’t possibly be thin!”…which is just nuts!).
With the access to food thing, it will be changing your habits (as Leo is so big on) that will be the deal breaker for you here. If nothing changes, nothing changes… You know you want different..you’ll find your way…
xx
September 10, 2012
Thanks Liz and I suspect by even making this decision (re work and the move) I’m starting to make the tough decisions and the changes I need to make!
Deb
September 10, 2012
I’m with Liz – it’s never too late to make changes to your health and fitness. They don’t have to be earth-shattering ones . Just steps in the right direction. I’ve worked from home for years and don’t have too much trouble keeping my weight in check and this is from someone who used to be a binge-eater. You can change.
September 10, 2012
It does occur to me Char that even if it is too late I lose nothing from not making the changes. And I like the idea of small changes. I probably need some specific goals – and I did mention in a response to Jo that I’m looking at practical things like joining a gym when I move and planning to attend certain classes etc. I just need a good strategy re the food!
Deb
September 10, 2012
I find the happier I am, the more I want to look after my body by eating well.
Good for you for taking some time out!
September 10, 2012
Thanks Dannii. I hope I feel the same. I know I eat when I’m angry and worried and so hope that some of those urges will disappear. Perhaps it’s a case of not actually removing the symptoms but the cause. If that makes sense!
Deb
September 11, 2012
Lady of leisure sounds really good. I need to figure out a Finnish translation for that! 🙂
Being stressed out, depressed (like last week when I was listening to sad songs and wetting my keyboard with my tears) and overeating go hand in hand in my life.
You probably will gain some weight just because your “incidental” physical activity goes down. That happened to me when I started working mostly at home (I was on a research grant at that time). My piece of unsolicited advice is that a) create yourself a daily routine that forces you to get out of your house/apartment and b) figure out a way to stay socially active/connected. Otherwise you WILL go nuts!
September 11, 2012
“Do you think being more satisfied with life in general can impact eating habits?”
I KNOW it can.
September 11, 2012
So do I Karen…. (Am counting on it in fact!)
September 11, 2012
for me being SATIATED overall (life, goals, personally) completely lessens the inner hunger.
I believe in you.
September 11, 2012
Thanks Miz!
x
September 11, 2012
OMG! I just read your plan. that sounds amazing! I googled Hervey Bay and now I am completely jealous! It looks like an inspiring place – oh the colour of that water!!! And hopefully not having a mortgage, what a dream position to be in.
I think you are quite right to think about your situation as being a lady of leisure/taking a break instead of unemployed which is rather negative. And it’s good to see you have been really thinking about things and have an amazing plan to follow.
Re working on your blog that sounds great and picking up writing work here and there is a good option – but it can be hard to find paid work as most writing gigs nowdays are ‘sources unpaid’ – but without the burden of a mortgage it could definately work.
What a brave thing you are doing – you rock!
September 11, 2012
Thanks Lou Lou… and my plan to find work doing (whatever) to allow me to write and vege means that I won’t be under pressure to make money from writing. It can purely be for pleasure. Ideally!
Deb
September 14, 2012
Hi Deb! Yes, I’m always slimmer when I’m happier. My gut is otherwise known as the “stress-o-meter.” 😀 Keeping off weight meant that I had to learn other ways than food to achieve a certain level of happiness.
🙂 Marion
September 14, 2012
Hopefully I’m about to do the same Marion!