I had my mother in town (mine, not hers) a couple of nights ago as she had a medical appointment and stayed overnight so I didn’t have as much driving to do in the one day. She’s also on the hunt for a new lounge room chair following her hip replacement – one with solid armrests to assist her in sitting / standing and one that is higher than her current lounge suite. My (newish) hometown is bigger than hers and I’d found a store with heaps of stock, so we took the opportunity to head in for a look while she was here.
As we were about to enter she commented that she thought the mother of one of my school classmates now worked there. And indeed she did.
She didn’t recognise / know mum at first. Once mum said her name the salesperson (schoolmate’s mum) gushed and they gossiped a little before the inevitable question…
“And what’s Debbie up to nowadays?”
(I was ‘Debbie’ to my school friends.)
Mum looked at me and I smiled that, ‘Oh-well-let’s-get-it-over-with smile.’
“Oh,” the woman-in-question said, “I didn’t recognise you without your blonde hair!”
(Have I mentioned that I’ve very overdue for a hair appointment and my regrowth is kinda scary?!)
Of course – in my mind – the rest of the sentence went unsaid.
I look nothing like I did at school. And I’m far more than double the size I was then.
It’s happened before.
Just a few years ago I went to a family friend’s gathering with my folks and ran into an old classmate. I stood nearby as she chatted to my mum, smiling politely waiting to be drawn into the conversation.
And then…
“Where’s Debbie these days?”
Ummm… HELLO!!!!
Fuck!
It’s the worst thing about returning to my roots (well, nearby). I wrote this post three years ago – having run into someone from my youth. Gah!
I realise I shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of who I am nowadays. The slow self-acceptor in me recognises that I have nothing to apologise for and no need to make excuses. But…. Old habits etc etc.
Are you self-conscious about your appearance when you see people from your youth / younger years?
Do you look the same as you did as a youngster?
 PS. Mum found and bought a chair she liked! In case you were wondering.
August 29, 2013
Omg!! You look wonderful. I don’t know how old you are but I’m gonna be 60 my next birthday. All of my high school friends and acquaintances are back together again because of Facebook. Some of us look great, some of us look beaten up, most of us are just glad to be alive. Not that we’re so old but we r cognizant of the fact that some of our old pals didn’t make it this far. Deb, don’t wait till your 55 or so to love how you look. Do it soon. You really are adorable and way thinner than I thought you would be. I hope you don’t mind me saying it.
August 29, 2013
Oh thanks for that. I certainly don’t feel it (thinner etc!). Indeed I feel porkier than ever.
I’m 45 by the way… 16 in both of the 1984 pics – which is when I finished school. I left (town) for Uni in early 1985. I did work back in my hometown in the early-mid 90s, but have mostly just visited over the years. I’ve kept in touch with (and seen) my closest friends and – same as you – most recently, others via Facebook. In fact we’re due for a 30yr school reunion next year!
August 29, 2013
I look very different & people don’t recognise me at all. Not because I’m fatter (even though I am), I’m just not the same person. In a way I’m glad- I was far from at my prime at school. My seriously short hair didn’t suit me, I had bad skin & never felt at home in it. These days I appear more confident & out there- even though I’m 20 odd kilos heavier.
August 29, 2013
I think I’m quite the opposite Jo. Filled with potential in my younger years…. all of which went nowhere. (And not just the weight thing!)
August 29, 2013
There’s no way that I look the same person that I did when I went to high school. I’m 30+ years older and things are starting to sag, there’s a few grey hairs appearing and there’s little lines where there used to be none. Gravity and life – they catch up with us eventually.
August 29, 2013
Char, I actually have an ageing post sitting in the drafts folder of my Debbish blog which I started 1.5yrs ago after becoming Facebook friends with a heap of school peeps. I was shocked at how old many of them looked (having not seen them for some time!). I – of course – don’t look a day over 44! 😉
August 29, 2013
I actually think you look great then and now! I actually bumped into a girl from school yesterday and she acted like she had no clue who I was even though we used to be in the same group. It was really awkward and I had the same thoughts. I think have achieved heaps and have time to achieve more! Even if you were at your goal weigh you’d still probably have those thoughts.
August 29, 2013
Yes, I guess one worries about ageing etc as well. (Not sure I have enough headspace. Think the weight thing takes precedence in my little mind!)
August 29, 2013
I do recognize you from the old photo! You have the same smile then as you have now. The most conspicuous thing about the old photo is the 80’s hairstyle. 😀 I had a perm at that time too. I love the picture of you in the styling shot, you looks very stylish in it.
Talk about hair! It annoys me constantly. I used to be blonde as a child, after that I had brown hair and now my natural hair is grey (or almost white if based on the the color of my roots). I have to color my roots all the time and then there is the residual build up of color in my … what’s the opposite of roots!!
I could go on and on… 🙂
August 30, 2013
I hear you Satu… I’m trying to decide if I should take the opportunity to go darker. (I dyed my hair a chestnut / chocolate brown colour in the early 1990s and again sometime in the late 1990s.)
PS. Although it meant I could barely brush my hair, I kinda miss perms!
August 31, 2013
You look great! Love that pic. Looking back at my old photos is always a laugh for my friends as my hair was always way bigger than anyone else’s back then. It kinds looks ridiculous ! Boy, I must of spent so much on hairspray. So, for me it’s a laugh looking at old pics!
September 2, 2013
I was a teenager in the 1980s so I guess that meant BIG HAIR!!!
September 2, 2013
What a cutie you were! (and still are!) I have missed all of my high school reunions from living OS, but I would give anything not the miss the next one. I am so curious to see what’s happened to everyone!
September 2, 2013
Oh… as you can imagine it’s something I really dread!
September 2, 2013
Are the ‘cool’ girls still cool? probably not! I was a band geek and still am so not many changes there.
September 2, 2013
I was probably in the ‘in’ crowd in my final years of high school.
What I find weird is that the biatches and bullies who dropped out of school early (and made lives hell for many school-goers before then) have tried reconnecting with me (us) on Facebook. WTF?!