Last week I spent some time working through exercises to ‘feel better now’, rather than waiting for the perfect job/weight/moment. My success in the challenge was mixed. I (unfortunately) realised that I am indeed one of those girls who would feel more contented if I was in a relationship (loved and in love), and some distant memories reminded me of a once-upon-a-time enthusiasm for life. However, I wasn’t able to ‘project’ positive feelings for the future. It occurred to me that I don’t feel I have ‘things to look forward to’ at the moment and I need to think about how I can remedy that.
Creator of the exercise, Christie Inge, also has a range of resources on her website. Because I’d decided I liked her no-nonsense style I downloaded “The No Bullshit Getting Started Guide for making peace with food and your body” – available via her site.
The Guide poses readers a range of questions… some of which raised some VERY interesting issues for me and weren’t things I’d previously considered.
1. My body is not my enemy. I’ve discovered I don’t hate it in the way I thought I did. (I know I said that once before when I found out you could leave it behind when you were cryogenically frozen….) But, in answering questions about being betrayed my body, I realised that’s not the case. My body serves me well. Poor bigger-than-it-should-be thing.
I realised, it is in fact my mind I blame for my preoccupation with food, dieting and body image issues. You may think this is a no-brainer, but if you randomly asked me what I dislike about myself I’d leap to ‘my body’. It occurs to me that my body is just the end result of my thinking and behaviour. Bizarrely I’d never considered that until now. My body is a ‘victim’. Of sorts.
Indeed, in considering aspects of Christie’s Guide, I realised that, although I continue to talk about body issues… it’s actually: my mind, spirit; and emotions – that control my somewhat dysfunctional world – more than my body.
2. Although I could write endlessly about my mind, my body and my emotions I struggled to answer questions about my ‘spirit’. I’ve recently talked about having problems identifying my passions and guess that fits with my inability to have things to look forward to. The Guide included questions about relationships, fulfilment and stillness. All biggies for me. In fact, although I never talk about it, I have a half-written post buried deep in my blog cellar about the issue of ‘stillness’.
3. My dominant emotions (well, the ones that came to mind when I had to write down three) appear to be jealousy/envy, anger and self pity. I guess they aren’t a surprise, though that I came up with envy before anything else, was.
I must confess that I’m constantly surprised that I’m capable of learning more and more about myself. I would have thought I’d over-analysed myself to death enough so that NOTHING I do or think would come as a surprise. I guess it shows that we never stop learning more about ourselves. I suspect it’s the act of applying it where many of us (including me) become unstuck.
I’d encourage you to download and read the Guide if you have any mind / body / food issues. I can seriously relate to Christie’s writing as she takes no prisoners and gives it to you straight.
The Guide also includes some next steps which I’m about to embark on. And knowing me… I’m fairly sure I’ll let you know how I go.
It was interesting to realise I was blaming my body for decisions my ‘mind’ was making. Can you relate?