Time stops for no man. Or woman for that matter. And definitely not for me – although it would be nice wouldn’t it? Day 11 of my 30 days of self-love blogging challenge comes with the theme of ‘seeking control’. When I scrolled down and saw the title, the first thing I thought was, “Holy shit!”
Anyone who is a regular reader of my blog (hello Mum!) will know that I talk often and endlessly about having ‘control’ issues. (Please imagine me saying ‘issues’ with a lisp there, for added effect.) So… it is for that reason I take a deep breath before I read what Tina requires of me today.
What if we could determine everything about our lives without any road blocks and things always went our way? I wish I could find a way to break it to you gently, but wake up…that world does not exist! We think it does because we think we have more control than possible.
We can only control our own decisions in addition to our attitudes, reactions, and perspectives. Even controlling our own decisions does not guarantee control over the direction they take us. Unexpected situations still happen. We still may face challenge and opposition. We may encounter surprises along the way, good or bad.
Instead of allowing such truths to costume the world as a frightening landscape, we should understand that loopy and wild roller-coaster of the unexpected makes life…life. Those areas which we cannot control force us to grow and encounter new experiences. They open up the means to learn to love and forgive others. They encourage us to adopt new ways of thinking and increase our knowledge. Sometimes, they even bring us to places better than we could have imagined.
Our lives turn into unbearable, desolate waste-grounds when we seek control over everything. Nothing will ever turn out exactly as we envision and disappointments will always arise. That isn’t to say we should have no expectations or desires out of life so that all circumstances seem good. We must avoid the allure of controlling others or certain things about ourselves to feel reassurance. Find reassurance for life in the positive choices made each day for all areas of our lives. Seek confidence in the ability to keep an open mind to new avenues. Encounter hope in the belief that, even when may not go as intended, opportunities still exist. Give up control and gain life.
What things in life might you try to control?
Well, duh! Everything! Of course. Jeez…
Actually I get out of this blog posting pretty easily. I knew I’d only fairly recently written about being a control freak and on re-reading that blog, I covered off the topic pretty well. As I do endlessly, I talk about the fact that the ability to control my body and what I did and didn’t eat (but nothing else) was possibly one of the reasons I once became anorexic (I say that like it was a conscious decision?!). I also talk about the fact that the only area which I’ve had NO control over in recent years, has been my diet and exercise. In the blog post I also confess to my ridiculously high levels of stress when I was at fat camp and my daily routine was out of my control. That experience alone made me realise just how much control I am accustomed to having over my own life.
It’s interesting – the control issue. On one hand I have no problem with change. I change jobs ALL OF THE TIME. I’m about to sell up and move house again. I’ve lived in several different countries and for one period of time moved about quite a lot. But perhaps as long as I’ve been the one making the decisions I’m okay. There’s nothing more disempowering that being toyed with at the whim of someone else. Like a puppet or marionette. Actually it’s an area of my life that probably needs more investigation. But not by me. I’ve overanalysed myself to death. (Am happy for suggestions from those who’ve been on this journey with me – hello again Mum… you probably don’t need to give me any feedback. Thanks though! xxx)
What is also interesting in the post I linked to (above) was that it was written in late April. In that post I talk about perhaps participating in this weight loss program: Michelle Bridges’ 12 week body transformation challenge. It was something I was contemplating at the time – rather than undergoing weight loss surgery, which was also under consideration. Bloody hell. Just two and a half months later here I am. Six and a half weeks into the program and I have already rid myself of 12 kilograms. Hal-le-friggin’-lujah! And – amazingly (at the moment anyway) – I am finally in control of what I am eating and drinking. It’s a mid-year miracle!
July 8, 2011
I feel ya that the challenge is more of a challenge than it seems. All that looking deep at ourselves. I remember it being such a challenge (in a good way) when writing it. You’re doing amazing though and I love reading all of your thoughts (even if I dont always get the chance to comment).
July 8, 2011
Thanks Tina. Difficult as it may be… I’m enjoying the challenge!