In keeping with my “WTF am I doing?” theme of late… I decided to revisit a book recommended to me by an eating disorder therapist I saw in the early-mid 2000s. It made sense at the time and still does. Its underlying theme was very much at the heart of the therapy I was receiving back then, and I guess it’s in line with my current therapist’s thinking.
If Not Dieting, Then What? by Dr Rick Kausman was first released in 1998, but the edition I own was reprinted in 2004. I suspect there may even be later versions. (There’s a whole website dedicated to the program as well, here!)
Kausman talks about the dangers of the ‘diet’ mentality and the physical, psychological and emotional risks of ‘deprivation’. Certainly the notion of depriving oneself of certain foods leading to a sense of emotional deprivation and break-out bingeing (and that whole vicious cycle) spoke to me. He quotes statistics and studies which demonstrate that the act of ‘dieting’ is often a quick fix which can rarely be maintained. In a chapter on goal-setting, Kausman notes that most of us are focussed on weight loss: we’re focussed on the magic numbers that will tell us we are finally who or what we want to be (my words, not his). He talks about dieters aspiring to ideal weights or goal weights. Instead, he recommends we focus on our behaviour. It’s a perfect example, he says, of the journey being as important as the destination, particularly if we are to sustain any weight loss.
I’m a classic example of that. How many times have I been on a diet – from the ridiculous (liquid days, no carbs and fat camp) to the more sensible (Weight Watchers for example) and yet, regained all of the weight I’d lost – and usually more! In addition, how many former The Biggest Loser competitors have regained the weight – UNLESS they themselves have gone into a field where their focus is their weight and fitness (become personal trainers and the like!).
His ‘no-diet’ mantra requires us to better balance our ‘nutrition’ and ‘intuition’. Most of us, he suggests, are seasoned dieters and know A LOT about food and nutrition. We know what’s healthy and unhealthy, high fat, low GI and so forth; but over the years, he suggests, many of us have lost the ability to recognise our own body’s signals (when we are hungry, or full, or perhaps when we aren’t). I also ‘get’ this. I know what I should be eating. And yet… alas, alack…
I can sustain ‘clean’ or healthy eating for a while, but because I’m an all-or-nothing kind of gal, the deprivation gets to me and I end up bingeing on forbidden food for days on end. Like many nutritionists and dietitians, Kausman recommends we get in touch with our bodies again (and no.. not in THAT way, although…) Rather, Kausman suggests we focus on understanding what our body is telling us.
In his chapter on non-hungry eating, he talks about triggers. There are the obvious ones, emotional eating, comfort eating, boredom, being confronted with convincing marketing for certain products, tiredness and the notion of deserving a ‘treat’ or a reward (HELLO!?!). But he also talks about the fact that it’s ingrained that we eat at certain times of the day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sure, he says we should be eating breakfast (most important meal of the day, yada, yada, yada), but he says there should be no hard and fast rule we need to eat it at 7am if we aren’t hungry then, rather we could eat it at 9am. THIS I like as well. Since I’ve been off diet coke (again) I’m not as hungry as often. When I ‘dieted’ properly last time 3pm would often come and I’d realise I hadn’t eaten lunch. Although secretly pleased, I’d chastise myself for not eating regularly – what I was doing to my metabolism, etc etc. But… if I’m not hungry, why should I eat?! It’s not as if I’ve been about to collapse from weakness!
Back on the notion of nutrition vs intuition, Kausman is a proponent of a combination although asserts it will take time to find a balance given that many of us are well-versed in ignoring our body’s signals.
I’m actually only 2/3 of the way through the book (so this may be a part 1 post!). But, like my Geneen Roth citation in my last post, Kausman is also all about taking away the SHOULD and SHOULDN’Ts.
Instead, he suggests we should be saying:
I can have it if I want it, but do I really feel like it?
Obviously he says, it will take a while to retrain our bodies to know what we want and when we want it. He also notes that sometimes even the most balanced and intuitive among us, will occasionally still eat because we are sad, or because something just looks good – even when we are not hungry.
On one hand, this notion is liberating, but it is also very scary and I talked in my last post about my concerns about a similar concept from Geneen Roth – as I worried my cherry coconut filled chocolate fetish would blow out of control. Even now… if I allow myself rice cakes whenever I want them, IF I REALLY want them, will I eat them day after day, or – as Kausman suggests – will the fact that I know I can have them whenever I want, mean that they lose their allure. (The forbidden fruit, and all that!)
The hypothesis is a good one… if there are no restrictions, and we can have anything we want (but ONLY when/if we really want it – ie. the catch) does that mean no more binges during which: I eat as much of something as I can because I’m not allowed to have it EVER AGAIN; I eat it rarely as it’s a treat or forbidden, so I ‘sneak’ it and scoff it down; or I eat as much as possible because tomorrow I’m starting my diet (ie. my last supper!).
Again – and in accordance with my last post – he asks ‘What is normal?’ On the whole he says that there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer, but he believes:
A normal or natural way of eating is not to weigh food or count calories.
It is normal or natural to eat enough food and not be rigid in our choices.
It is normal or natural to eat something at least three times a day.
It is normal or natural to eat more on some days and less on other days.
It is normal or natural to overeat or undereat occasionally.
It is normal or natural to eat certain types of food some of the time, just for the taste of it.
A normal or natural way of eating involves stretching your thinking so that no single day really means very much on its own.
It is normal or natural for women to have fluctuations in appetite and cravings for certain types of food as hormone levels vary.
As you may have guessed, I’m enjoying re-reading this book. I haven’t been doing the exercises at the end of each chapter, although I’ve given them some thought.
I’m still musing over all of this. Panicked on one hand about not closely monitoring my weight or what I eat and my weight increasing steadily; but hopeful on the other that I could become more ‘normal’ about food and relax some of my bloody rules and regulations and feel less guilt-related-angst. As I said recently, I’m feeling a bit tired and a bit jaded. I guess I need to talk to my current shrinkette about some of this stuff – but like I’ve been saying, I’m tired of talking about food and eating and dieting.
If I can trust myself enough I’d like to try this approach. Nothing is off-limits. No SHOULDs and SHOULDN’Ts. No black / white thinking. Scary but exciting.
What are your thoughts?
I know this book’s been around for 14 or so years, but do you think the not-dieting notion is just another ‘fad’?
Or do you think I’m just copping out?
April 25, 2012
I’m no good in this area but it actually is making some sense to me… why not give it a go if other stuff hasn’t worked? But you really shouldn’t take advice from me!
April 25, 2012
But Lou Lou… you sound so convincing! #not (I love all of the qualifiers in your comment!) But, seriously, I’m always happy to hear from people whether they’re experts in the area or if it’s something that doesn’t even interest them! In fact, I’m writing a blog post about creativity for my other blog and the author suggests that someone from ‘outside’ of the area of expertise takes a look at the issue – a fresh pair of eyes, new naive (in a good way) questions etc.
PS. I’m hardly an expert in it either, as is probably obvious from my posts and yoyoing weight!
April 26, 2012
It sounds great to me, but I bet you knew I’d say that, right? 😉
The whole idea of being able to trust myself is key in my process. It requires courage, but at the same time, there’s such relief when we allow ourselves to just allow our intuition to take over. Because when you really think about it, our bodies are so very wise! And that’s a key distinction: our bodies versus our minds! But we’ve been programmed (by family, by friends, by Big Media, by Big Food, by Big Pharma, by Big Diets) to NOT trust ourselves! We’re CONSTANTLY looking outward for approval, validation, for someone to please just tell us what to do! And believe me, as far as I’ve come, I still find myself doing the same from time to time. And I don’t mean that to sound defeating…I just recognize it as part of my own personal ebb and flow. Just like I’ve accepted that there will be days when I get a little binge-y.
So why don’t you try it for a day. Or if that sounds like too much, try it for an hour. Start at, say 6 p.m. and say, “from 6 p.m. until 7:00 p.m., I am going to trust what my body tells me.”
April 26, 2012
I’m hoping your book will arrive soon Karen (I was told end of the month!).
I think I’m okay at reading my body’s signals, but guess I worry about my mind. I could easily convince myself that I want rice cakes at times when I don’t just because I have them in the house. At the moment, I usually go and buy stuff for my binge / over-eating episode and scoff it… I rarely have it in the house otherwise.
But.. having said that I’ve already started questioning myself more about food choices – more ‘am I hungry?’ than ‘what do I feel like?’
Deb
April 26, 2012
Lots of people are getting rich at the expense of overweight individuals only to leave them worse off than they began and completely demoralized and frustrated.
April 26, 2012
Hi Deb! I think you’re torturing yourself over this! Your fine brain should be analyzing something else. This seems like a waste of your analytical skills. <<just my 2 cents.
Weight loss is a mind game and I think you already know that. At least, Myra (is that her name?) does. And I'm never sure if these authors have gone through losing weight and maintaining weight loss. I guess it's trial and error. If the author's suggestions work for you, then do them! But most people seem to need more food rules.
🙂 Marion
April 26, 2012
Marion, I am indeed prone to over-analysing!!! And yes, it is Myra – that pesky character looking over my shoulder and getting in my head! (I wish I could ban her for life!) If only!!!
April 26, 2012
Hey Deb,
In my experience, it’s a mixture of both. I have a few definite rules around food (and no they don’t impinge on my social life) – but I also listen to my body. For example, today I’m just not hungry, so I haven’t eaten my planned lunch. Maybe for afternoon tea? We shall see!
x
April 26, 2012
You’re probably right Liz. Am still pondering on it all. I need to go shopping so I’ll see how I go when the time comes!
April 26, 2012
I really think that my eating issues, whatever they are, came about from my years of off and on dieting. As to what we should do “instead,” I’m still working that out for myself and I think for each of us it may be different. BUT, I do agree that the best focus (and goals) are about behaviors and not numbers on the scale.
April 26, 2012
Karen, yes it’s currently the ‘rules’ and ‘regulations’ that are getting me down… although they are mostly mine (no carbs at night if I have wine etc). 30ish years of ‘dieting’ can be exhausting!
April 27, 2012
I loved Rick Kausman’s book. I interviewed him a few times for magazine features at the time, and he’s such a sensible, no-nonsense guy. Give it a go!
April 27, 2012
Hi Allison, thanks. Small steps, but today I bought some corn chips (a danger food for me). I’ve had some AND I put the lid on the container and didn’t eat them all. (Shock, horror!)
Deb
April 27, 2012
It sounds challenging, because it’s such a radical rethink. I have found the best things for me are exercise, and weighing myself every day. I know that sounds ridiculously obsessive, but I know myself, and I know how quickly things can get away from me. But the batteries have been flat for a month now so perhaps it’s a good time to try a new approach like this? It sounds like a very healthy way of thinking, if I could make it stick.
April 27, 2012
The batteries to my scales, in case that was a little obscure 🙂
April 27, 2012
I’m really just starting to re-think my thinking (if that makes sense Rachel!) and have just been feeling ‘tired’ of my overly strong focus on dieting and weightloss of late.
Thanks for dropping by! (And I may have thought you meant YOUR batteries were a bit flat, cos I could certainly understand that as well!)
Deb
April 27, 2012
This all makes perfect sense to me. I need to get this book. now.
April 27, 2012
Hi there. I think I got mine from an online bookstore, but you can also buy them from the site (link is in the blog). I’m only just starting, but really do feel a bit excited and liberated (though scared!)
Deb