• Wordless Wednesday – Am I skinny yet?

    Tuesday, November 18, 2014 Permalink

    I cannot remember the last time I exercised. It’s been a month or two since I’ve done any yoga and walking any distance has resulted in shin splints and a sore back and hip. I know they’re just excuses and I’ve tried to tell myself a 5min walk is better than nothing, but I’ve struggled to convince myself.

    I know that losing even a little bit of weight will help me feel more able to exercise but the food / exercise / dieting thing is a tangled mess in my mind. A few weeks ago I talked about trying to focus more on how I feel. Well, quite frankly I feel friggin’ unfit and unhealthy.

  • Making it about how I feel, not how I look

    Thursday, October 30, 2014 Permalink

    I’m fatter than ever. At least I think I am. I certainly feel it. Part of me wants to lock myself away and wallow in self loathing. At least I feel like I should. However the fact I’m not indulging in self-flagellation reminds me of how far I’ve come – body image (self-acceptance) wise. Although I may just be in denial… ;-)

  • Sitting with feelings

    Thursday, September 18, 2014 Permalink

    Anyone who followed my old Diet Schmiet blog or has read through many of the posts I transferred here* will know that binge eating has long been an issue for me. (Coming after anorexia nervosa and bulimia.)

    I’m much better than I once was – I binge far less and am no longer even vaguely tempted to purge (too worried about the impact on my teeth and my health. But mostly my teeth!). Once upon a time I couldn’t have flour or sugar etc in the house cos – when in the zone – I’d mix up some strange batter to eat. I still don’t really keep sugar, but don’t think I’d do that nowadays.

  • State of mind: the good, bad & ugly

    Tuesday, September 16, 2014 Permalink

    So… <insert long awkward pause here>.

    I’ve been unsure about writing this post. I’ve not written as much over recent weeks as I’ve struggled to write anything but sarcastic rants or book reviews, lest my real state of mind infiltrate my writing.

  • The opposite to epicurean

    Tuesday, September 2, 2014 Permalink

    Occasionally when dining out I’ll tweet or facebook pics of delightful and decadent meals. More often than not they’re not actually  mine; rather they’re the choices of my dining partners who have a far more discerning palate than I could ever hope to develop or adopt.

    I’d like to blame my childhood and the fact that I grew up in regional Queensland with limited options, so – other than the local Pizza Hut – I only ever went to two restaurants before I actually left home for University.

  • Lose weight to bring sexy back

    Monday, August 11, 2014 Permalink

    A new show is about to start on Oz TV called, Bringing Sexy Back. From the ads it appears to be a program which has found once attractive / slim peeps who’ve gained a heap of weight and somehow helps them lose the excess weight to again become ‘sexy’. Apparently.

    There are SO many things wrong with this concept that I don’t know where to start.

  • Living in the here and now

    Tuesday, August 5, 2014 Permalink

    I received an email after my recent interview appeared on Lisa’s Random Acts of Zen; an interview in which I talked about being single and my weight. And about the relationship between the two.

    Emily Jean is a health coach and works with women who are wanting to give up the dieting mindset and just trying to find some peace with food, and love for their body. I thanked her for her approach but had to flag that I really couldn’t afford to work with her on my body image issues at the moment. Fortunately she was keen to just talk to me so we had a lengthy skype chat.

  • Fat Camp vs Health Retreat

    Friday, August 1, 2014 Permalink

    I’ve talked before about my experiences at Fat Camp (where I lost nearly 15kg in a month). My feelings about the time are mixed. I know eating 700-900 calories a day and doing 5hrs of exercise is not even vaguely sustainable. Or healthy. But sometimes now – when I feel really desperate to do something about my weight and my health quickly… I wonder whether I’d return there. I hated much about the place, but it achieved results. Briefly.

    Fortunately I don’t spend long pondering because I can’t afford it anymore anyway. But the other day I was doing that thing we all do from time to time….