Monthly Archives: February 2012

OMG WTF ETC

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I’m sure I’ve previously mentioned that I have discerning taste. Or, at least if I haven’t alluded to it, I’m sure you’ve come to that conclusion yourselves… having committed my blog posts to memory (as you have most certainly done)!

Well, today I have to confess to a slight double standard. I know, I know… you can’t believe what I’m telling you, but alas… it’s true.

But before I ‘fess-up’ I need to give you a bit of context…

Years ago I tried internet dating. I mean, didn’t we all? What’s that you say, ‘No?’

10 percentOh okay, so maybe it was just me and some of my friends. And while they’ve had some success (long term relationships, marriage and the like), I pretty much crashed and burned. (And yes, I know – yet again – you are shocked to the core!)

Anyhoo, there were a number of things which drove me to distraction during that period. In fact, somewhere in the bowels of my computer I have several draft posts:

  1. An idiot’s guide to speed dating
  2. Ten things not to include in your online profile (etc etc)

Hotter OnlineAnd while I may well sound like a bit of an expert, again you’ll be shocked to know that my friends had to beat me around the head to even try these options. I suspect that when I hit 35 I finally realised that the man of my dreams (aka Prince Charming, or… you know… Richard Armitage) was not about to throw himself in my path, which is when I finally succumbed to these 21st century dating rituals.

My friends also felt compelled to lecture me about my (seemingly!) judgemental attitude to the whole thing. (Of course at that stage I didn’t know I’d still be single in my 40s or I might have lowered my standards a little. Joking. Mostly!)

As a result, they made me DELETE the line in my RSVP profile which made some scathing comment about men with spelling mistakes and typos in their own profiles (a perfectly legitimate expectation I would think). They did, however, allow me to keep the line about how much I hated those who used ‘try-hard’ (aka tragic) abbreviations: LOL and the like.

A Xmas present from my church-going mother!

Yes, yes…. those who know me from my diet blog know that I use WTF in almost every post. Similarly, I drop FFS in there quite a bit, and OMFG along with TFIF when appropriate! All worthy and deserving acronyms. I think.

But in the early-mid 2000s when LOL first appeared in force, the people who used it – along with smiley faces (DO NOT GET ME STARTED!) were the type like our then secretary at work… who also used little hearts to dot her i’s. (Yes I know it’s not possessive, but otherwise it would look like ‘is’. FFS!)

So back then the cutesy acronyms had VERY negative connotations for me. I imagined all users to be well-versed in twee abbreviations from years of newspaper classifieds about NS SWF and the like and to essentially be the Australian equivalent to US trailer park trash.

Am I a judgemental bitch? Um…. sometimes!

I was reminded of all of this when my mother sent me a clipping featuring some shopping bags. She thought they would appeal, as a reader of my diet blog and regularly subjected to my favourite acronyms. (She is obviously unaware of my LOL-issues!)

  

 

 

 

 

 

While I think the bags are kinda cute, my LOL prejudice will probably preclude me from purchasing one at this point in time.

Of course, now LOL is oft-used, along with ROTFL and those (obviously more-tasteful) acronyms more favoured by myself. I still refuse to use the former… though have partaken in a smiley-face on occasions – ONLY to ensure someone knows I’m joking, than any smiley-face passion.

So – perhaps it’s a double standard to which I’m confessing; or just an acronym hierarchy which makes sense only to me.  (Like my colleague who believes The Biggest Loser is quality fly-on-the-wall TV, but thinks Excess Baggage is reality television at its worst!)

Do others have similar quirks and prejudices I wonder?

Mix tapes

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My yet-to-be-named new-but-second hand car and I decided to drive the 300km to my hometown the day before last.  My mum had been a bit down and it marked four months exactly since my father’s passing. Plus I had the day off work to attend a morning blogging thing.

So, the little beast and I set off jauntily at lunchtime – diet coke and water at the ready – on our 3hr journey. (Note to self: combination of water and diet coke will require enroute loo stop which must be factored into trip-planning in future!)

People who know me know that I dislike driving. In fact, I do more than dislike it, I hate it. Over the 10 years I had my previous car it averaged 4000km/year, which isn’t much by Aussie standards!

And, as I connected my iPhone to my car’s stereo via Bluetooth while considering my travel music options, I was reminded of a rare trip I made a couple of years ago.

Source: everythinesteban.com

I was heading to my hometown for a few weeks to help out while my mother was in hospital and then recovering from surgery. At the time I hadn’t driven my car outside of the capital city in which I live for years (despite the Gold Coast and Sunshine Coasts being 1 hour south and north of my place respectively!).

In fact, I spent so little time in my old car, that it didn’t bother me that it didn’t have a CD player. And yes… no need to re-read that sentence. It. Had. No. Compact. Disc. Player. It had stereo radio – obviously; but it had… wait for a it… a tape player. (In case my 15yr old niece or anyone under 20 is reading this, that’s a little rectangular thing with tape wrapped around spools).

The radio-only option was never a problem on my brief trips around the city, or grocery shopping a couple of times a week.

But, in July 2010 I was halfway on the journey to my parents’ place when confronted with a dire situation. I’d reached that point on my journey when I had to succumb to *gulp* regional radio stations. Scarier still, I was at a place in my journey not known for its forward-thinking, progressive ways. (Think: that town where Footloose was set!)

Argh! So I dug inside the console of my car and came up with a slightly dusty cassette tape. Thank fuck! Crisis averted etcetera etcetera.

After eventually inserting the cassette the right way (difficult while coasting along at 100km/hr) the speakers sprang to life.

Cassette Player/RecorderJoy of joys! It was a mix tape*. Circa 2000/2001. I believe I actually used it (way back when) in my walkman while exercising. The next hour passed by in a flash and because the tape in question WAS an exercise tape it was particularly (and tragically) upbeat: early Britney; S Club 7; Destiny’s Child and so forth.

I could almost even recall sitting there with my portable CD player/tape deck, maneuvering CDs in and out of the player with my finger on the tape deck pause button.

And then it got even better, because there were excerpts from Top 40 radio shows! Ahhh… the memories. Ahhh… the annoying intrusion of announcers’ voices over songs and the abrupt blurts of songs starting and stopping.

Of course given the fact that my new little beast has a CD player and bluetooth connectivity I no longer require the tape, which was cast aside along with my old car. And anyway… does anyone even still HAVE cassette players?

It made me a tad sad though…. as I pictured my niece busily downloading songs she likes off iTunes with the flick of a finger or two.  She will never know the joy of sitting in front of the television with a tape deck and microphone to record Rod Stewart or Olivia Newton John on Aussie show Countdown (circa 1970s).

But despite my nostalgia, I don’t miss the old days. I’m glad I can make a phone call when I’m walking down the street or sans hands while driving in my car. I’m happy I can upload something like this that people around the world (in their millions – naturally) can read. And, I’m chuffed that I can also buy single songs for a couple of dollars, rather than an entire CD of mostly-useless songs just to hear the one or two you like.

itunes-logoTechnology brings with it new challenges for each generation, so I realise it doesn’t always result in an easier existence. And I’m sure one day Generation Zers will be sitting around explaining the onerous and ancient ways of their youth to new generations. I can’t even begin to imagine what will be around in 50-100 years, just as my grandparents or ancestors couldn’t have dealt with the concept of the internet and mobile telephones.

I will still however, remember fondly, Friday nights from my teenage years, listening to the local radio station, legs crossed to avoid inopportune toilet-related urges, waiting with anticipation for my favourite song which may, or may not feature. Much time wasted? Possibly. But comforting memories? Definitely.

*Note, sometimes called mixed tapes, which in fact is what I thought they WERE called until I did some googling!

 

 

Binge-tweeting

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In my diet blog I often talk about past binge-eating habits and my (*ahem*) somewhat obsessive nature. Any over-eating though, usually takes place at night or on weekends, my workplace not being conducive to devouring a packet of corn chips or inhaling a bag of caramello koalas.

Source: http://www.expeditionr.com

Similarly, my inability to access social media accounts (Facebook and Twitter) during the day, is resulting in some post-work binging, and I can’t decide whether or not it constitutes socially-acceptable behaviour. (ie. I only care/engage when I’ve got time to care/engage.)

I must confess at this point that my diet blog and associated Twitter account – which WERE my ‘hobbies on the side’ have become my primary blog and Twitter account. Not attached to the ‘real me’ in any way (although I am thinking of ‘coming out’ as it were) I now spend most of my time using that Twitter account and interacting with followers and strangers alike.

My workplace doesn’t allow access to Facebook or Twitter, or even web-based email accounts – the latter for security purposes. As a result a couple of times during the day (only once or twice – because I am a dedicated public servant. Well, actually cos I’m prone to guilt-ridden angst if I think I’m being slack!) I check my private email account and while playing with my iPhone phone I scan Twitter and Facebook for any news or updates. As a result, my daytime access is minimal. And it’s almost impossible to ‘engage’ when I’m only on there for a minute or two at once.

I do partake however, in a Twitter and Facebook binge-fest during my commute to and from the office for a 30-50 minute period every day, which I think is almost akin to ‘caring only when I have time’. And I feel like a bit of an interloper on the train ride home, as I enter conversations midway through and have to scroll back through tweets and updates to get some context or find out what I’ve missed. Again, it’s hard to engage AFTER the event. And like someone who can’t join the cool kids’ table at school, I feel I’ll remain on the outside looking in while my access is so hit and miss; and when others have been tweeting to and fro all day.

Wear your Twitter badge with prideOnce home of an evening, despite having free time, I find I still can’t keep up… only sitting at my desk briefly to schedule tweets and check updates before disappearing to bathe, cook dinner and watch TV; returning at the end of the night to draft and edit blog posts or pay bills.

Given that I sit at a desk all day, I am not necessarily keen to sit at one all night, so I tend to lounge about in front of the television for an hour or two and this is where I am stumped….

SO many people on Twitter and Facebook post CONSTANTLY. And they often do so while they are doing other things (well, at least I assume Twitterers and Facebookers do other things. I mean, it’s not like we are talking about World of Warcrafters here!). People often tweet about TV shows. I’ve tried that with my iPhone but it takes too long and (I’m of that age where) I have to keep removing my glasses to see the phone’s screen and then put them back on to see the television. Perhaps others have iPads I’ve postured; something that they can sit on their laps and tap away on during ad breaks or boring bits. Or perhaps they’ve got excellent eyesight and don’t have the middle-aged eyesight issues.

facebook like buttonWhen I bought my Macbook Air at Christmas I had visions of myself sitting and ‘live’ tweeting to a captive audience (aka my Twitter followers) about whatever I was watching. I’d imagined sharing insightful and witty repoirtee with other fabulous and interesting people – thereby offering fulfilment I don’t get from my otherwise mundane life. (Just joking! Sort of.)

But it doesn’t work. It seems, while I’m a multi-tasker in much of my life, I’m either watching something on television, or not watching it. Sure, I could attempt intermittent two-minute binge tweeting during an ad break rather than the oft-utilised channel-surfing, but again it seems sporadic and akin to firing off a machine gun then taking cover for the next 10 minutes, until I’m ready to fire again.

Live Twitter

My minimial access to Facebook doesn’t worry me as much. I rarely have ‘conversations’ there. I just post obviously-interesting things about my day (no, not my bowel movements, although I’m sure my gazillions of friends are interested in what I eat, or what exercise I’ve done!).

It’s Twitter I struggle with. I live alone, so have no one to turn around to and say, “Oh my god, what did Poppy Montgomery do to her face?!” for example. Instead, this would be something I’d tweet. And then of course there’s the social intercourse: the toing and froing with complete strangers about both vague and intimate details of one’s life. And frankly… comments starting with “I told you so…” are a waste of 13 of your 140 characters, so there’s less chastising and a lot of swearing. Which suits me fine.

I don’t want to spend my days on Twitter, but I want to be able to keep up in some shape or form. So… what I’m wondering is, how do others do it? iPhone constantly in palm of your hand; iPad hung around your neck for easy access; starving kids and week-old food festering away in the background as you sit at the desk?

Tweeties…. How DO you do it?